talesoflogic

Los Diez Mandaminetos de Un Vago

jrlopz — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 21:05:11 +0000

UVA (Union de Vagos Asociados)

Los Diez Mandamientos de Un Vago

Se nace cansado y se vive para descansar.
Ama a tu cama como a ti mismo.
Si ves a alguien descansar, AYUDALO.
Descansa de dia, para que puedas dormir de noche.
El trabajo es sagrado, NO LO TOQUES.
Aquello que puedas hacer manana, NO LO HAGAS HOY.
Trabaja lo menos que puedas, lo que tengas que hacer, QUE LO HAGA OTRO.
Calma, nunca nadie murio por descansar.
Cuando sientas el deseo de trabajar, SIENTATE, y espera que se te pase.
Si el trabajo es salud, QUE TRABAJEN LOS ENFERMOS.

I got this from a friend and we passed along all our friend at work. I translated this commandments in English for all our Couch Potatoes friends because this is an universal declaration for all of us that enjoy sitting around and do nothing. Now without further delay the English version of The Ten Commandments Of A Couch Potato.

(UCPA) United Couch Potatoes Association

The Ten Commandments of a Couch Potato:

You are born tired, and you live to rest.
Love thy bed like you love yourself.
If you see somebody resting help him or her out.
Rest during the day, so you can sleep at night.
Work is sacred, do not touch it.
Whatever you can do tomorrow, do not do it today.
Work the least you can, and whatever else you have to do let someone else do it.
Relax, nobody had ever died for resting too much.
When you feel the urge to work, sit down and wait until it passes.
If work makes you healthy, let the sick work…

Reasons Why I'm Still Single #283

jrlopz — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:48:41 +0000

Reblogged from Reasons Why I'm Still Single: Reasons Why I’m Still Single Evidently the fact that you can quote the entirety of Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins is not a “fun fact about yourself” to bring up on a first date. Not if you want a second date, at least.

A Republican Wet Dream About Birth Control

jrlopz — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:48:14 +0000

Reblogged from The Mainland:

What Rick Santorum dreams about at night.

Movie Review: Drive

jrlopz — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:47:33 +0000

Reblogged from The Diary of a Mad Gay Man:

Last week, I did a book review of Jim Butcher’s Storm Front. This week, since I wasn’t able to fit in another book, I decided to take a stab at reviewing a movie. And this week’s victim happens to be:

Drive with Ryan Gosling

I remembered seeing a trailer for this enigmatic movie in theaters a few times, but I couldn’t tell you what it was about from the minute and a half preview.

Reasons Why I'm Still Single #286

jrlopz — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:44:41 +0000

Reblogged from Reasons Why I'm Still Single:

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

The other day, a professor politely asked if I had recently gotten my haircut. I hadn’t, so naturally, I responded no. “Oh… you must have just brushed it then.” … well, I brush my hair about as often as I get a haircut, so he might have actually been on to something.

Reasons Why I'm Still Single #253

jrlopz — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:03:30 +0000

Reblogged from Reasons Why I'm Still Single:

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

It’s sad when you realize you get more texts from your dad than from anybody else… right?

Reasons Why I'm Still Single #245

jrlopz — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:23:23 +0000

Reblogged from Reasons Why I'm Still Single:

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

I’ve come to realize I have more sentimental attachment to my cell phone than I do most people. Sad.

Reasons Why I'm Still Single #246

jrlopz — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:23:10 +0000

Reblogged from Reasons Why I'm Still Single:

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

In an effort to be green, I didn’t use a bag at the store yesterday. After all, I only had one item, why waste the plastic? It was only after walking a block down the street carrying an entire cake, clearly meant to be enjoyed by 3-4 but instead enjoyed by me and me alone, that I started to regret that decision.

Reasons Why I'm Still Single #247

jrlopz — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:22:34 +0000

Reblogged from Reasons Why I'm Still Single:

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

My dog gets startled by loud noises. In an effort to calm him down, sometimes I sing “Nothing’s gonna harm you, not while I’m around…” from Sweeney Todd. Man, sometimes I’m too gay for words…

9 1/2 Things I've Learned From 9 1/2 Years of Marriage

jrlopz — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:21:33 +0000

Reblogged from The Mainland:

This month my wife and I will celebrate 9 ½ years of marriage. A lot has happened since that 2002 day when we got overly excited about unwrapping boxes of fine china. We bought a house…twice, moved across the country…twice, and had a kid…twice. And through it all, I’ve learned some valuable lessons about life, love, and the pursuit of triple coupons.